Stop! You may be offended!

Warning: Blimix is long-winded and egotistical. Salt to taste. In case of inhalation, exhale.

Before proceeding to the bulk of the material available in Yvelheim, please take a few moments to check this list of people who may be offended by its content. If you are offended, but are not warned here, I apologize. Please let me know your name and the reason for your offense, and I will add both to the list.

Yvelheim contains some naughty words. Those who have a problem with this may be offended. Those who wish to censor my words are invited to contribute to the eventual enlightenment of the human race by getting yourselves sterilized. Which leads us to...

The author supports our first- and fourth-amendment rights, and opposes deliberate threats to our well-being. This will be offensive to nazis, fascists, and southern baptists. Also, based upon voting and signing records, these rights are offensive to nearly all members of the Senate1 and the House of Representatives2, as well as to every President in my lifetime.3

The author advocates treating people with respect. This may be offensive to assholes, bigots, liars, hate-mongers, fundamentalists, and other Harriers.

The author supports moral absolutism. This will be offensive to some moral relativists, and to most small-minded creeps.

Yvelheim contains insults to several political parties; you can guess which ones by now.

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1. Members of the senate who have found our rights so offensive that they have tried to abolish them: Frank H. Murkowski, Ted Stevens, Jeff Sessions, Richard C. Shelby, Dale L. Bumpers, Tim Hutchinson, Jon Kyl, John McCain, Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Wayne Allard, Ben Nighthorse Campbell, Christopher J. Dodd, Joseph I. Lieberman, Joseph R. Biden, William V. Roth, Bob Graham, Connie Mack, Max Cleland, Paul D. Coverdell, Daniel K. Akaka, Daniel K. Inouye, Charles E. Grassley, Larry E. Craig, Dirk Kempthorne, Richard J. Durbin, Carol Moseley-Braun, Dan Coats, Richard G. Lugar, Sam Brownback, Pat Roberts, Wendell H. Ford, Mitch McConnell, John B. Breaux, Mary L. Landrieu, Edward M. Kennedy, John F. Kerry, Barbara A. Mikulski, Paul S. Sarbanes, Susan M. Collins, Olympia J. Snowe, Spencer Abraham, Carl Levin, Rod Grams, Paul David Wellstone, John Ashcroft, Christopher S. Bond, Thad Cochran, Trent Lott, Max S. Baucus, Conrad Burns, D. Faircloth, Jesse A. Helms, Kent Conrad, Byron L. Dorgan, Chuck Hagel, Bob Kerrey, Judd Gregg, Robert C. Smith, Frank R. Lautenberg, Robert G. Torricelli, Jeff Bingaman, Pete V. Domenici, Richard H. Bryan, Harry M. Reid, Alfonse M. D'Amato, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, Mike DeWine, John Glenn, James M. Inhofe, Don Nickles, Gordon H. Smith, Ron Wyden, Rick Santorum, Arlen Specter, John H. Chafee, Jack F. Reed, Ernest F. Hollings, Strom Thurmond, Thomas A. Daschle, Tim P. Johnson, Bill Frist, Fred Thompson, Phil Gramm, Kay Bailey Hutchison, Robert F. Bennett, Orrin G. Hatch, Charles S. Robb, John W. Warner, James M. Jeffords, Patrick J. Leahy, Slade Gorton, Patty Murray, Russell D. Feingold, Herb Kohl, Robert C. Byrd, Jay Rockefeller, Michael B. Enzi, Craig Thomas. (Yes, that's all but one of them; the only one who did not make this list is Senator Tom Harkin. I wonder how a good guy like him got into politics.)4
2. Members of the House of Representatives who have found our rights so offensive that they have tried to abolish them: Don Young, Robert B. Aderholt, Spencer T. Bachus, Sonny Callahan, Bud Cramer, Terry Everett, Earl F. Hilliard, Bob Riley, Marion Berry, Jay Dickey, Asa Hutchinson, Vic Snyder, J.D. Hayworth, Jim Kolbe, Ed Pastor, Matthew Salmon, John Shadegg, Bob Stump, Xavier Becerra, Howard L. Berman, Brian P. Bilbray, Mary Bono, Ken Calvert, Tom Campbell, Lois Capps, Gary A. Condit, Christopher Cox, Randy Cunningham, Julian C. Dixon, Calvin M. Dooley, John T. Doolittle, David Dreier, Anna G. Eshoo, Sam Farr, Bob Filner, Elton Gallegly, Jane F. Harman, Wally Herger, Stephen Horn, Duncan L. Hunter, Jay C. Kim, Tom Lantos, Barbara Lee, Jerry Lewis, Zoe Lofgren, Matthew G. Martinez, Robert T. Matsui, Howard P. McKeon, Juanita Millender-McDonald, Ron Packard, Richard W. Pombo, George P. Radanovich, Frank Riggs, James E. Rogan, Dana Rohrabacher, Lucille Roybal-Allard, Edward R. Royce, Loretta Sanchez, Brad Sherman, Pete Stark, Ellen O. Tauscher, William M. Thomas, Esteban E. Torres, Maxine Waters, Henry A. Waxman, Diana DeGette, Joel Hefley, Scott McInnis, Dan Schaefer, Bob Schaffer, Rosa L. DeLauro, Sam Gejdenson, Nancy L. Johnson, Barbara B. Kennelly, James H. Maloney, Christopher Shays, Michael N. Castle, Michael Bilirakis, Allen Boyd, Corrine Brown, Charles T. Canady, Jim Davis, Peter Deutsch, Lincoln Diaz-Balart, Mark A. Foley, Tillie K. Fowler, Porter J. Goss, Alcee L. Hastings, Bill McCollum, Carrie P. Meek, John L. Mica, Dan Miller, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Joe Scarborough, E. Clay Shaw, Clifford B. Stearns, Karen L. Thurman, Dave Weldon, Robert Wexler, C. W. Young, Bob Barr, Sanford D. Bishop, Saxby Chambliss, Mac Collins, Nathan Deal, Newt Gingrich, Jack Kingston, John Lewis, John Linder, Cynthia McKinney, Charles W. Norwood, Neil Abercrombie, Leonard L. Boswell, Greg Ganske, Tom Latham, James A. Leach, Jim Nussle, Helen Chenoweth, Rod R. Blagojevich, Jerry F. Costello, Philip M. Crane, Danny K. Davis, Lane Evans, Tom W. Ewing, Harris W. Fawell, Luis V. Gutierrez, J. Dennis Hastert, Henry J. Hyde, Jesse L. Jackson, Ray H. LaHood, William O. Lipinski, Donald A. Manzullo, John Edward Porter, Glenn Poshard, Bobby L. Rush, John M. Shimkus, Jerry Weller, Dan Burton, Steve E. Buyer, Julia Carson, Lee H. Hamilton, John N. Hostettler, David M. McIntosh, Ed A. Pease, Tim Roemer, Mark E. Souder, Peter J. Visclosky, Jerry Moran, Jim Ryun, Vincent Snowbarger, Todd Tiahrt, Scotty Baesler, Jim Bunning, Ron Lewis, Anne Meagher Northup, Harold Rogers, Edward Whitfield, Richard H. Baker, John C. Cooksey, William J. Jefferson, Christopher John, Robert L. Livingston, James McCrery, W. J. Tauzin, William D. Delahunt, Barney Frank, Joseph P. Kennedy, Edward J. Markey, James P. McGovern, Martin T. Meehan, John Joseph Moakley, Richard E. Neal, John W. Olver, John F. Tierney, Roscoe G. Bartlett, Benjamin L. Cardin, Elijah E. Cummings, Robert L. Ehrlich, Wayne T. Gilchrest, Steny H. Hoyer, Constance A. Morella, Albert R. Wynn, Thomas H. Allen, John Elias Baldacci, James A. Barcia, David E. Bonior, Dave L. Camp, John Conyers, John D. Dingell, Vernon J. Ehlers, Pete Hoekstra, Dale E. Kildee, Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, Joe Knollenberg, Sander M. Levin, Nick Smith, Debbie Stabenow, Bart Stupak, Frederick S. Upton, Gil Gutknecht, William P. Luther, David Minge, James L. Oberstar, Collin C. Peterson, Jim Ramstad, Martin Olav Sabo, Bruce F. Vento, Roy Blunt, William L. Clay, Pat Danner, Jo Ann Emerson, Richard A. Gephardt, Kenny Hulshof, Karen McCarthy, Ike Skelton, James M. Talent, Mike Parker, Charles W. Pickering, Gene Taylor, Bennie G. Thompson, Roger F. Wicker, Rick Hill, Cass Ballenger, Richard M. Burr, Eva M. Clayton, Howard Coble, Bob Etheridge, W. G. Hefner, Walter B. Jones, Mike McIntyre, Sue Myrick, David E. Price, Charles H. Taylor, Melvin L. Watt, Earl Pomeroy, Bill E. Barrett, Doug Bereuter, Jon Christensen, Charles F. Bass, John E. Sununu, Robert E. Andrews, Bob Franks, Rodney P. Frelinghuysen, Frank A. LoBiondo, Robert Menendez, Frank Pallone, Michael Pappas, William J. Pascrell, Donald M. Payne, Steve R. Rothman, Marge S. Roukema, James H. Saxton, Christopher H. Smith, Bill Redmond, Joe Skeen, Heather Wilson, John E. Ensign, Jim Gibbons, Gary L. Ackerman, Sherwood L. Boehlert, Eliot L. Engel, Michael P. Forbes, Vito J. Fossella, Benjamin A. Gilman, Maurice D. Hinchey, Amo Houghton, Sue W. Kelly, Peter T. King, John J. LaFalce, Rick A. Lazio, Nita M. Lowey, Carolyn B. Maloney, Thomas J. Manton, Carolyn McCarthy, John M. McHugh, Michael R. McNulty, Gregory W. Meeks, Jerrold Nadler, Major R. Owens, Bill Paxon, Jack Quinn, Charles B. Rangel, Jose E. Serrano, Louise M. Slaughter, Gerald B.H. Solomon, Edolphus Towns, Nydia M. Velazquez, James T. Walsh, John A. Boehner, Sherrod Brown, Steve Chabot, Paul E. Gillmor, Tony P. Hall, David L. Hobson, Marcy Kaptur, John R. Kasich, Dennis J. Kucinich, Steve C. LaTourette, Robert W. Ney, Michael G. Oxley, Rob Portman, Deborah Pryce, Ralph Regula, Thomas C. Sawyer, Ted Strickland, James A. Traficant, Tom A. Coburn, Ernest J. Istook, Steve Largent, Frank D. Lucas, Wes Watkins, J.C. Watts, Earl Blumenauer, Peter A. DeFazio, Darlene Hooley, Robert F. Smith, Robert A. Borski, Robert A. Brady, William J. Coyne, Michael F. Doyle, Phil English, Chaka Fattah, Jon D. Fox, George W. Gekas, William F. Goodling, James C. Greenwood, Tim Holden, Paul E. Kanjorski, Ron Klink, Frank R. Mascara, Joseph M. McDade, Paul McHale, John P. Murtha, John E. Peterson, Joseph R. Pitts, Bud Shuster, Curt Weldon, Patrick J. Kennedy, Robert A. Weygand, James E. Clyburn, Lindsey O. Graham, Robert D. Inglis, Mark Sanford, Floyd D. Spence, John M. Spratt, John R. Thune, Edward G. Bryant, Bob Clement, John J. Duncan, Harold E. Ford, Bart Gordon, Van Hilleary, William L. Jenkins, John S. Tanner, Zach Wamp, Bill Archer, Richard K. Armey, Joe Barton, Ken Bentsen, Henry Bonilla, Kevin Brady, Larry Combest, Tom DeLay, Lloyd Doggett, Chet Edwards, Martin Frost, Kay Granger, Gene Green, Ralph M. Hall, Ruben Hinojosa, Sheila Jackson Lee, Eddie Bernice Johnson, Nick Lampson, Solomon P. Ortiz, Ron Paul, Silvestre Reyes, Ciro D. Rodriguez, Max Sandlin, Pete Sessions, Lamar S. Smith, Charles W. Stenholm, Mac Thornberry, Jim Turner, Christopher B. Cannon, Merrill Cook, James V. Hansen, Herbert H. Bateman, Tom Bliley, Rick Boucher, Thomas M. Davis, Virgil H. Goode, Bob Goodlatte, James P. Moran, Owen B. Pickett, Robert C. Scott, Norman Sisisky, Frank R. Wolf, Bernard Sanders, Norman D. Dicks, Jennifer B. Dunn, Doc Hastings, Jim McDermott, Jack Metcalf, George R. Nethercutt, Adam Smith, Rick White, Thomas M. Barrett, Jay W. Johnson, Ron Kind, Gerald D. Kleczka, Scott L. Klug, Mark W. Neumann, David R. Obey, Thomas E. Petri.4
3. Quotations: 36
4. Based on voting records at scorecard.aclu.org. Unfortunately, I have not updated these lists since 1999.

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