Joseph Levy

Objective: A job combining my early 80's coding prowess with my fondness for sushi.

Computers:

Fly-Rite Int. Inc. Ltd.

• 2003-2006: Programmer, "Donald Duck's Air Traffic Control Tutorial"
  • Performed complete code conversion from Microsoft Visual C# to Microsoft BASICA.
  • Was made to perform complete code conversion from Microsoft BASICA back to Microsoft Visual C#.
• Resigned over artistic stifling.

Culinary:

Wolfgang Ritter's All-American Truck Stop & Sushi Bar

• 2000-2002: Head chef
  • Invented sharkbutt pâté.
• 2002-2003: Sous-chef
  • Invented Day-Glo Sushi Rice.
• Parted with employer over irreconcilable differences.

Music:

Glory Hole Jesus (Gospel death metal)

• 1997-2000: Production assistant and musician, "The Big, Hairy Hand of God"
  • Washboard
  • Toe guitar
  • Acoustic theremin

Potpourri:

1994-1997: Self-Employed

• Philosopher
  • Founded the Self-Satisfied school of Pretentiousness.
• Children's toy developer
  • Invented "My Little Zombie-Ant Fungus".
• Computer games gamma tester
  • Over 10,000 hours per year logged.
• Current salary: $76,000/month (paid by self)

Next month until my early grave: Working for you?

• Slaving my ass off
• Expected salary: Pennies per week and those scraps of fat and gristle that I can smuggle home under my jacket.

• Elementary: The Marion Cotillard School of Unexpected Wins
  • 1982-1984: 1st grade
  • 1984-1987: 2nd grade
  • 1987-1991: 3rd grade
  • Graduated summa cum laude

• 1991-1994: PATI (Pennsylvania Amish Technological Institute)
  • Bachelor of Science in physics, with minors in math and nasal spectroscopy.

• Computers
  • Object-oriented programming
    • Dr. Logo .NET
  • Subject-oriented programming
    • I++
  • Adverb-oriented programming
    • Forth

• Miscellaneous
  • Ravioli jumping
  • Dry wall origami

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