The Book of Answers

Before proceeding, total your "Yes" answers.

Now, let's take a look at the answers to each question.

1. The rapist:
   • If you answered "No," good job. Your friend can make her own decisions.
   • If you answered "Yes," you have already forgotten the bit about the probability that the evil will occur. Being sure that he is a rapist does not imply certainty that a rape will occur on this date. There is very little opportunity for that in a movie theater or a big party. If you have already warned her, she is less likely to enter a compromising situation. (And she is the one with the car.) You are not justified in restraining her.
2. The dirty book:
   • If you answered "No," you did well. The child can gather his own information.
   • If you answered "Yes," you have forgotten the bit about the magnitude of the evil. There is very little that his book could do to him that would be worse than your crime of disrespecting his property. Besides which, his parents will probably be incensed over your taking away his King James Bible.
3. The wiretapping bill:
   • If you answered "No," thank you. You helped to protect our security in our homes.
   • If you answered "Yes," you have forgotten to find justified certainty before throwing all of our rights out the window. The FBI already has more than enough wiretapping capabilities to deal with crime, and already illegally eavesdrops on far too many innocent conversations. The only thing that the bill would improve is their ability to violate your privacy. Ignorance was no excuse; in fact it is the very reason that you should have realized that you did not have sufficient certainty to say "Yes". You had best gather information about the decisions you make before you encourage the violation of people's rights.
4. The satanic game:
   • If you answered "No," great. Your son and his friends can continue to enjoy their socializing and entertainment.
   • If you answered "Yes," you just broke up a group that plays "Candyland" every week, based on media hysteria, without bothering to find out the truth. You could have asked your son about the game, or taken a look at the rule book, and the benign nature of the game would have made itself perfectly clear. In the future, leave decisions about your son's life to your son; he's better at making them than you are.
5. The Partial-Birth Abortion Ban:
   • If you answered "No," you have done the world a favor. People should never lose the right to their own bodies.
   • If you answered "Yes," you have condemned half the population of the United States. There is no such thing as a "Partial-Birth Abortion". It is just a name given to a bill to make people vote for it. (Note: I wrote this many years before it passed.) The bill jeopardizes the health and lives of women, refusing them a procedure that can be a medical necessity. Is this really what you want? Well, it's what you supported, because again, you did not bother to find out the truth; you blindly gave the government leave to abuse its citizenry.
6. The after-school club:
   • If you answered "No," you have helped many young people to keep their source of support in an intolerant and bigoted world.
   • If you answered "Yes," are you that gullible, or do you just hate people who aren't like you? An after-school club cannot "turn students gay". Read a book, attend a lecture, learn something before you violate their constitutional right to peaceably assemble. If you don't like it, make a hate-mongering speech against it. But the minute you throw out the fourth amendment, you had better be prepared to give up your bridge club, superbowl parties, and any other socializing you ever do. Are you?

Now find your score on the following chart:

0. Good job. Trust your judgment. Be careful, though; these situations stayed well past the line of acceptability, and this score should not be construed as giving you any extra leave in finding exceptions to moral rules of thumb. Use my formula with caution.
1. Sorry, you are not fit to use the formula. Be more cautious in the future, and learn to recognize unjustified certainty.
2. Please limit any restrictions you place upon anyone to situations of obvious and immediate danger. Stepping in front of speeding cars and the like.
3. Please do not associate with people I care about.
4. That white sheet looks awfully becoming.
5. So does your swastika.
6. Every year, the Albany Rape Crisis Center leads a march at the "Take Back the Night" rally to speak out against abuse and rape. You lead the counter-march.

[Note: The results of this test cannot be taken as absolute, due to the possibly contradictory nature of the subjunctives¹, depending upon the traits and situation of the reader.]

• Back to the book.

1. Ask Blimix about contradictory subjunctives.

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