Objective: A job combining my early 80's coding prowess with my
fondness for sushi.
Fly-Rite Int. Inc. Ltd.
- 2003-2006: Programmer, "Donald Duck's Air Traffic Control
- Performed complete code conversion from Microsoft Visual C# to Microsoft BASICA.
- Was made to perform complete code conversion from Microsoft BASICA back
to Microsoft Visual C#.
- Resigned over artistic stifling.
Wolfgang Ritter's All-American Truck Stop & Sushi Bar
- 2000-2002: Head chef
- 2002-2003: Sous-chef
- Invented Day-Glo Sushi Rice.
- Parted with employer over irreconcilable differences.
Glory Hole Jesus (Gospel death metal)
- 1997-2000: Production assistant and musician, "The Big, Hairy
Hand of God"
- Toe guitar
- Acoustic theremin
- Founded the Self-Satisfied school of Pretentiousness.
- Children's toy developer
- Invented "My Little Birth Defect".
- Computer games gamma tester
- Over 10,000 hours per year logged.
- Current salary: $76000/month (paid by self)
Next month until my early grave: Working for you?
- Slaving my ass off
- Expected salary: Pennies per week and those scraps of fat and gristle
that I can smuggle home under my jacket.
- Elementary: The Dan Quayle Very Special School of Euphemism
- 1982-1984: 1st grade
- 1984-1987: 2nd grade
- 1987-1991: 3rd grade
- Graduated summa cum laude
- 1991-1994: PATI (Pennsylvania Amish Technological Institute)
- Bachelor of Science in physics, with minors in math and nasal
- Object-oriented programming
- Subject-oriented programming
- Adverb-oriented programming
- Ravioli jumping
- Dry wall origami
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