Manual for Communication with Blimix v.2.6

Congratulations on your purchase of the Blimix 2.6 model of our "Philosopher" series! We sincerely hope that you will enjoy this product, which is guaranteed for a lifetime of Quality as long as it is cared for properly. If you like Blimix enough, recommend it to a friend, or try our other product lines, such as "Philosopher behind a cash register," "Philosopher in a bottle" and "Philosopher with a flame-thrower"¹.

Blimix is incompatible with rudely obnoxious people, murderers, rapists, and others who abuse people. He will communicate with hypocrites, Harriers, idiots, annoying people, weak-minded fools, worms, and customers, but they cannot access his more important features.

Blimix is recommended for:

• People who know themselves.
• People who have the strength to do what is Right.
• Simple people.
• People who are accepting of others.
• Good and intelligent people.

Blimix speaks more precisely than is customary these days. This can render communication more effective, but only if the listener understands what he is doing. For example, take care to avoid confusing the opposite with the negation. "I do not believe that God exists" does not mean "I believe that God does not exist". He will sometimes disregard the connotation of a word or phrase if the denotation is sufficiently accurate. The following terms have noteworthy usage:

Beautiful

This has become a reserved word, no longer used casually, with variable but specific meanings: 1) Having an extreme purity of Beauty. A truly exceptional poem or work of art might qualify. 2) Having an extreme magnitude of Beauty. A mountain with a variety of terrains and several spectacular views might qualify. 3) Any meaning made clear by the context or defined explicitly by Blimix.

Beauty

Also known as Quality, worth, Tao, and Buddha nature. It comes before everything. In doing what is Right, in changing any part of the world for the better (without sacrificing more Quality in the other parts), one is following the path of Beauty. Any appreciative emotion, be it rapture at a sunset, or the satisfying of hunger with a hamburger, is an experience of Beauty. (Blimix reserves use of the phrase "experience of Beauty" for only the most powerful such events, to give the phrase itself more power.)

Complexity

Highly intricate processes, usually operating on many levels at once. A world-view that can quickly analyze and synthesize huge amounts of data into its own growth is complex.

Complication

Characterizes a system with methods contrary to its goals. Entertaining contradictions. People who act in ways that will make things worse for themselves are complicated. (e.g., the woman who acts on the assumption that the man who continues to pursue her in direct disrespect of her stated wishes must love her more than the man who respects her enough to accept the answer of "no".) Initiation of the deception of self or others is perhaps the archetypal way in which people complicate their lives. (The man who lies once, then has to make up another lie to support the first lie, and so on, is ensnared in complications.)

Ecstasy

The original Greek meaning: "To leave one's self." It involves such a complete immersion into a situation, experience, and/or emotion that the self is completely lost, given up to the state which brought about the ecstasy. There is nothing outside of that state. Contrary to common usage, ecstasy is not necessarily a good thing; it depends upon the object. One can experience an ecstasy of joy, of divine purpose, or of pain, for example. An ecstasy of pain is not enjoyable; it simply means that the pain has completely overwhelmed the subject, pushing out of mind everything else, including the person's own existence.

Enlightenment

A class of understanding and perspective, some of which lies outside of one's previous paradigm. This includes the understanding of Beauty and a perspective regarding us, the universe, and the boundaries (and lack of boundaries) thereof, as well as perspective regarding the relative importance² of events in our lives (which makes it much easier to deal with them).³

Everything

(We told you so.)⁴

Goal

A combination of a value and a desire. With the elimination of desire that accompanies enlightenment, goals disappear as well, but are not betrayed. An enlightened person continues striving for the sake of that which they value, and so the goals are still reached, even if they are no longer considered goals. Satisfaction is still derived from the achievement of the quality toward which the goal was directed.

Harrierism⁵

The Way of Not Thinking, followed by most people in the world. The term comes from R.F. Laird's epic work, The Boomer Bible.

Honor

The need to do that which is Right.

Love

A reaction to preceived Quality. Terribly unspecific, but usually used with specific meaning that can be derived from context.

Meep

An interjection and a verb. SamiCat writes: "Meeping is a result of experiencing a rise in affect, typically of a surprising but not negatively-interpreted sort. Mild embarassment (from being complimented, or the like), surprise/concern for a friend, shock in dropping something, or finding oneself falling in love can cause such a response." Blimix has traditionally used "meep" to indicate curiosity, confusion, mild distress, and jokingly exaggerated distress. It can take on other meanings, to be inferred from context and tone of voice, and can even be used without meaning when the communication, not the content, is what matters.

Mu

The response to a question that should not have been asked. Also an attitude/state of mind in which one thinks laterally enough to easily avoid being bound by the limits of those questions and related situations.

Passion

This is not so much something that is felt as it is an interpretive process, taking a love and giving it expression. The more opportunities for expression passion has, the more freely it can soar.

Philosophology

A term coined by Robert Pirsig. The study, dissection, and analysis of the works of philosophers. That which is taught in universities, mislabeled as "philosophy".

Philosophy

Wisdom and perspective regarding how to live well, and the quest to gain such.

Platonic Love

A transcendental template for many of the most deeply beautiful types of love. It is given expression as a specific variety of love, defined by the circumstances within which it occurs. The phrase also refers to the direct manifestation of that template in emotions, without the addition of extra emotional baggage. (This is use of the phrase by its literal meaning, and therefore has little in common with the conventional "relationship without sex" connotation.)

Psychology Experiment Secret

Information that, were it known, would lose Quality or cause its subject to lose Quality. Named after its archetypal use, but not restricted to it. Surprise parties and forbidden love are examples.

Rapture

A state of being completely captivated by some form of Beauty. It brings such joy and contentment that one never feels the need to leave it. The object of rapture becomes the universe within which the subject resides, as there exists for the subject nothing outside of the self, the Beauty in question, and the means of fulfillment of the rapture.

Simplicity⁶

A lack of complication, and the path followed to achieve that. Not fundamentally opposed to complexity, although an insufficiently competent analyst may, in the attempt to utilize complexity, accidentally create complication. That is, non-brilliant people who wish to stay simple may have trouble with complexity.

Want

This word has changed, in order to remain useful. With the addition of the "enlightenment" feature in Blimix v.2.0, the "desire" feature was no longer needed, and was removed to decrease system overhead. The literal meaning of the word "want" was likewise rendered obsolete. (To wish for something, or know that one would be better off with it, is different than to feel its lack.) A word is required to serve the same practical purpose, as there still exist things of value to be pursued, as a means toward happiness and the betterment of life and of the world. Because an invented word would hamper communication more significantly than a slightly altered usage would, he may say, "I want this," when he means, "This would be beneficial to the Beauty in my life." (He is also likely to not use the word at all.)⁷

Should you experience difficulties in the maintenance and/or use of your Blimix, we have a toll-free technical support line⁸. (Responses may not be immediate.) However, before trying us, check the list below. Your problem may already be answered.

1. Problem: Blimix is being contrary, readily pointing out errors and omissions in reasoning.

Solution: This is not a bug. It is a feature. It is also important to note that such behavior does not mean that he disagrees with you. This behavior has been toned down a bit in version 2.6.

2. Problem: I am trying to debate with Blimix, but he is too sure of himself.

Solution: Blimix is right.

2a. Corollary problem: But I'm right!

Solution: Then one or both of the following is the case:
1: You have miscommunicated your position.
2: You are wrong. Deal with it.⁹

3. Problem: Blimix is too happy.

Solution: This is not a bug. It is a feature. If it happens in response to something you did, keep doing it. If not, humor him and protect your backpack.¹⁰

4. Problem: I'm an available female, and Blimix sounds like he would be the perfect guy for me, but I'm just not attracted to him.¹¹

Solution: Tell him this to his face. Have a camera ready to catch his expression.

5. Problem: As above, but I am attracted to him.

Solution: Sorry, your case is unique. All we can suggest is getting to know him, as learning what an incredibly nice guy he is will almost certainly solve your problem.¹²

6. Problem: I feel like Blimix is judging me.

Solution: No, he already judged you long ago. It's too late to worry about it now, so just relax.

7. Problem: Blimix is smiling for no apparent reason. Should I be scared?

Solution: No. His humor is largely private.¹³

8. Problem: Blimix just did something that is impossible. Do I have to mistrust my senses, or discredit the known laws of physics?

Solution: Neither. He just does that sometimes.

9. Problem: Blimix is being morose about some baffling¹⁴ problem.

Solution: We fixed this problem in the version 2.6 upgrade. Make sure you have the latest patch installed.

10. Problem: Blimix told me he would do something, but he has not done it. Is this a breach of honor?

No, you failed to get a time commitment from him. It may take months or years.

11. Problem: I can't get Blimix angry!

Solution: Sorry, that feature has not been implemented. There are no plans to include it in future releases.

12. Problem: I have some information that would be important for Blimix to know, but I'm afraid he'll react poorly to it.

Solution: Tell him. You'll be surprised how well things turn out. Failure to do so will void the warranty.

(Caution: Do not open Blimix. No user-serviceable parts inside.)

1. Gbob Waters: Suffixes (leaving Yvelheim)
2. This brief comment on arts funding by John Murphy is a delightful demonstration of perspective regarding relative importance.
3. Quotations: 21
4. Manual: Beauty
5. Ask Blimix about Harriers.
6. Ask Blimix about simplicity.
7. More information about Blimix's distinctions between "want," "wish," "value," et alia can be found here.
8.
9. Thwpp!
10. Metaland: Room 6.
11. Problems 4 and 5 are obsolete by now, but are left in for the humor value, if any.
12. Why do women prefer assholes?
13. However, the fact that you are close enough to see him smile should, in general, scare you.
14. Most likely female.

Entrance | Yindex | © 1999-2008